JOHN NORTON: We don’t need the Internet to help keep us fit

Would you wear a fitness tether?

Talk around the office is about the Fitbit. It’s one of the many gizmos on the market to count steps, climbs, calories, miles, track your meals, your weight, etc. — to help keep us motivated to stay active and to lose weight.

With the Fitbit, or other competing products like Nike Fuel, your progress is uploaded or entered into a website where you can earn virtual badges (ooooh!) for hitting certain goals, and if you choose, you can watch each other’s activity. Positive peer pressure, high tech, fitness style.

My boss John says I should wear one. I said, something like, “Well, I’m not wearing your damn tether.” And if he insists? I’ll strap the gadget to my dog. I’ll be stepping, or napping, all the live long day.

It’s not that I’m anti-exercise, diet or fitness … but doggone it, does everybody have to know everybody’s business!? Like facebook, I’m sure everyone will enjoy seeing who is walking how far, maybe with whom, wearing what, after eating what, blah, blah, blah, ad nauseam. Riveting.

I’m old school. If you lose enough weight, people will notice. I don’t need the blow by blow, or step by step as it were. Spare me the details.

Papa always told me the best way to lose weight is to do three push ups a day. Away from the table at breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Some companies even motivate their employees with lower health premiums and other perks for getting in shape, losing weight, stop smoking and other things that are good for us — and for fighting rising health care costs. All noble goals, I’ll concede.

But I wouldn’t doubt that we’ll all be forced to be tethered come Obamacare time. Wear it or else be fined!

Whatever happened to the land of the free?

I’m pretty active, and try to be moderate with my diet. But If I’m a slug some Sunday afternoon, and take a nap while watching the Tigers, after polishing off some Doritos, well, that’s my business.

Fitbit? OK, sure, send one for my wife and daughter too.

Bring ‘em on.

I have two cats too.

 

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