SAVELA BACK TALK: The common cold

Nothing can stop it in its tracks

Not five minutes ago, I was hopping up and down on one foot while patting my head and rubbing my belly.

My face was purple, lungs were full and I was watching the last half of Terminator 2: Judgement Day to try and scare myself into submission.

I had a horrible case of the hiccups that only those specific scientific measures were able to curb.

It’s funny the way tips and tricks get passed down generational lines like tradition, no matter how ridiculous they sound. And they start sounding even more so loony when held up to the true medical advances of our time.

But there’s always something to be said for historic success. If grandma says swishing salt water renders canker sores obsolete, then you had better open wide.

There’s plenty more where all my hiccup cures came from. And actually, the one I truly use is sipping a glass of water backwards and upside down. The logistics of this act are too completed to explain in text (if you’re interested in a demonstration I’ll gladly set up a time and place to oblige with the understanding you provide the mop), but I swear it works!

For more on household remedies and basic medical knowledge, may I suggest reading the Manistee News Advocate’s “Ask Dr. K” segment, found daily on the Coffee Break page in the B Section (I know, shameless paper plug). In fact, while you’re there you might as well flip through Sports to check out complete coverage on local athletes (eeks, even more shameless). Oh, which reminds me, Saturday is fast approaching so Lifestyles is almost almost at your front door! (OK, that’s just awful. I’ll stop).

Unfortunately, modern medicine can only go so far. My hiccups may have subsided, but I also have a cold. And there’s no cure on the planet that will stop it in its tracks. If you don’t believe, just ask Dr. K.

I guess I’ll just have to let it run its course.

But while I do, here’s a list of remedies I’ve learned help aid the process along:

LIQUIDS

There’s no doubt you’ve heard this before: “Make sure you drink plenty of liquids.”

It seems like when your sick is the only time beverages are referred to as liquids, and the advice-giver is never all that specific. I’d assume water, milk or orange juice are the types of liquids they have in mind, but don’t blame me if I crack open a Mountain Dew or a beer instead.

SLEEP

My favorite hobby it the world is sleeping. I don’t do enough of it, even when I’m sick. But it helps.

There’s something about being well rested that makes runny noses and sneezes more tolerable.

CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP

Let me be even more specific: CAMPBELL’S CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP. Nothing else will work.

There’s a reason Campbell’s has eased the pain for thousands upon thousands over the century: it’s been the same soup since its inception.

And I’m not talking same recipe or anything. I’m talking same soup. Whatever was canned back then, is still flying off the shelf to this day. And there’s only three ingredients: chicken, noodle, and magic.

MOMMY

Forget everything else.

When you’re sick, you need your mom. It doesn’t matter how old she is, or you are, or how bad the cold may be.

At the first sign of sniffles, curl up on the couch, snuggle up in a blanket and call for mommy to take your temperature.

She is the cure.

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Posted by Dylan Savela

Dylan is the county reporter for the News Advocate, he also is in charge of the Small Town Life, religion and senior pages. He can be reached at (231) 398-3111 or dsavela@pioneergroup.com.

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