Pondering with P.J.

I’m sitting here looking at my keyboard and wondering how to tastefully express myself. I know, some may think that never has seemed to be an issue in the past, but as I grow older, I feel I should try to clean up my act, somewhat.

For those who don’t know me personally, I’m what you’d call a hefty chick … pleasingly plump … so round, so firm, and so fully packed!

I’d like to justify my size with the fact that I had three pregnancies and gained 40 lbs with each one. They were all eight pounders plus a little so, if my math is correct, there was in the neighborhood of 32 pounds per pregnancy that was unaccounted for.

I think I can put my finger on it.

Back in the days of my youth when I attended the old one room school which I affectionately refer to as Malcolm Tech, the teacher told my parents, “she’s a well rounded student.” She obviously could see I had a lot of potential!

When I went to the BIG school in Bear Lake in the fifth grade, I told my folks the teachers thought I was an “outstanding student.” What I didn’t tell them is that I spent quite a bit of time “out-standing” in the hall for being disruptive in the classroom. Those city teachers were short on a sense of humor.

I tried to compensate for being the chubby new kid by being the new kid who could make them laugh. And, for the most part it worked, except for those times when I was banished to solitary confinement in the hallowed halls of Bear Lake’s finest educational institution.

Through the years my more than ample physique has been useful. I’ve helped push many modes of transportation to their destination. If the Spouse needed help getting a car, truck or tractor pushed into a garage so he could work on it, he knew he could count on me. Most times just leaning on something that needed to go somewhere did the trick. That’s something some puny girl couldn’t accomplish!

I’ve also been called upon to offer ballast during nautical outings. Trying to remember which is “fore” and which is “aft” or “port” and “starboard” just doesn’t work for me. If I’m in a boat and we’re taking on water all I need is someone to yell, “Fat girl, other side!” I’ve saved many lives.

Being calorie challenged most of my life, I’ve tried numerous diets. Some were successful for atime but I’d fall back into my old habits, gain back what was lost and add a little extra.

I usually get inspired to diet about a week before going to my doctor for my six-month check-up.

My doctor isn’t a fanatic about it, but after she counsels me about healthy eating habits and my need to take care of myself, I feel so ashamed.

Knowing the very first stop is going to be the “weigh master” I try to prepare myself. Every ounce counts so I get my hair cut the day before my appointment and shave everything that normally gets shaved. Then, I check out my closet to pick out the most lightweight apparel. I follow up with an evening meal of homemade sour kraut and I have seconds.

About an hour later, I begin to hear a faint rumbling sound. That’s an indication that I should make sure there is a clear path to the “little room.” Stubbing my toe could have dire consequences.

Usually the doctor is pleased to note that I haven’t gained any significant amount of weight since my last visit and offers encouraging words for me to continue on my quest for healthy living.

I love my doctor!

As Usual, P.J.

Pj646@centurytel.net

Author of “Uncommon Sense”

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Posted by Pauline Jaquish

Pauline Jaquish is the author of “Uncommon Sense.” You can reach her at Pj646@centurytel.net.

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