Illogical logic makes the the world go round in a fast food drive thru

One of the biggest assets a reporter can have is the ability to quietly observe.

You can learn a lot about people by sitting quietly and watching how they do things. It also can be a rather fun to watch — what I like to refer to as the illogical logic of people.

Lately, I have been doing a lot of watching while sitting in the fast food drive thru lane. People are probably wondering why I am spending so much time sitting in line at a drive thru, so I have humiliating confession to make to all of Manistee.

Hi my name is Ken, and I am a sugar-free vanilla ice coffeeaholic.

Yes, it’s the monkey on my back that I can’t seem shake. Hold up one of those coffees, and I start shaking.

That is another column in itself, but getting that “daily fix” gives me an interesting perspective on the type of people who frequent a  fast food drive thru windows.

Take for example the people who live their lives in denial. I also refer to them as the “really people” because what I usually say when I see them is… “really?”

I am talking about are the people turn up at a drive thru knowing full well that their driver door window is broke and will not roll down, but there they are in line trying to pull off the impossible.

Watching them place the order is always fun as they kind of drive past the microphone and open the door. They then proceed to shout so loud because they are so far away from it that the person inside can probably hear them without the microphone.

Pulling up to pay and get the food is another fun thing to watch as they wedge their arm and head out between the car and the wall of the building. You just hold your breath and hope they don’t fall out and become something that could fit on a new flat-bread sandwich.

It makes me wonder, “is that really easier than just parking the vehicle and walking in?”  Ahh yes, illogical logic.

Then there is the endless number of “oops people.” These are the ones who aren’t paying attention as they get handed their change and it falls on the ground. When it happens you can see the indecision set in as they have cars in front of them and cars behind and money underneath.

You can virtually see the wheels turning in that coconut sitting on their shoulders as they ponder that great question: Is the 9 cents I dropped worth losing my life over by falling out of this car and getting run over by my own back wheels?

The amazing thing is the decision appears to be a tough one for some of them.

Of course as science teaches us for every reaction their is an equal and opposite reaction. Those fall in the category of what I like to call the “snugglers” and the “anti-social” drive thruers.

The “snugglers” are the people who feel compelled to not only ride close to my bumper, but almost in my back seat. It makes wonder sometimes if I should order for them. They feel their food order will come quicker if they push right up to my bumper even though there are three cars ahead of me and essentially no where to go.

On the opposite end of the spectrum are the “anti-social” who stay eight feet back from the car in front of them like they are terrified of hitting them. This in turn makes the line of cars waiting stretch around around the building.

Yes, I have seen it all in my time in line. I have witnessed people placing an order at a drive thru pulling bass fishing boats, a truck pulling a car on a trailer, Mopeds, bicycles, front end loaders, ambulances and yes believe it or not —a guy riding a horse — giddy up.

Just when you think you have seen it all they manage to top it.

However, it never ceases to amaze me  when signs are clearly posted that state nine foot clearance why someone driving a 10-foot high vehicle thinks it should fit. Those, my friends, are the dents you see in those areas and you wonder how many more are on the top of their head that they even thought they could make it.

However, the odds are good that as I continue my addiction there will be more illogical logic long after I…see you next Wednesday.

avatar

Posted by Ken Grabowski

Ken is News Advocate’s education reporter. He coordinates coverage for all Manistee County schools and West Shore Community College. He can be reached by phone at (231) 398-3125 or by email at kgrabowski@pioneergroup.com.

Leave a Reply