PONDERING WITH PJ: A long and two shorts

Now that warmer weather is here for a couple months, I’m thinking I should have tried to make some personal improvements upon myself over the winter.

As a career fat girl, I’m here to tell you, hot weather and girls of generous proportions are not a party waiting to happen! It’s a rough life! Even though I’ve had extremely good intentions, it’s pretty obvious it is too late to get my beach body on again this year.

I think I have a heredity problem. Neither of my parents would tip over in a windstorm. They were built fairly close to the ground. My dad was about five feet, seven inches tall and my mother, maybe five feet, four inches tall.

I remember hearing folks say my dad was barrel ‘chested’ and that I resembled him, only my barrel didn’t stop at the chest! I sort of claimed my mother’s attributes below the equator.

Being farm folks, there wouldn’t be a day go by that we’d have less than three squares under our belt by sundown and then an evening snack of hot buttered popcorn or some delicacy left over from supper like a cold beef heart sandwich on homemade bread with mustard. Oh, man! There is no doubt about it: that was good eats!

We never lacked for food and no one ever left the farm hungry, be it a hired hand during haying season, or the telephone repair man.

My mother always made sure they would sit down and eat with us, or she’d pack a brown paper sack with some treats for the road. It was good business, if our old phone gave us any trouble, that telephone repair man was Johnny on the Spot to get it taken care of with the possibility of a slice of Mom’s apple pie for his efforts!

We were a long and two shorts, and now the readers are saying to themselves: “What in the world is she talking about now?”

A long and two shorts was the ringtone that came in on our phone that signified it was someone trying to call us. Of course, we had to pay attention because there were eight homes on our phone line and each of those calls rang into each home.

I can remember being outside hanging up clothes and hearing our distant phone ringing. It was a mad dash to get closer to discern if indeed it was a long and two shorts or a short and two longs or any other combination. Actually I think it was all part of the Bear Lake Telephone Co. Physical Fitness Program to keep their customers fit and trim running to the phone. Obviously that plan didn’t work for all of us.

I have flashbacks of life on the farm often. It was a good life and although one of my dad’s quotes was, “A little hard work never killed anyone”, it really made me wonder at times if he knew what he was talking about! And no, I never questioned his logic. I did that once, and it didn’t turn out well!

Speaking of flashbacks … it’s strawberry season and the spouse has been busy bring home the ‘fruits’ of his labor. One night last week he delivered 80 quarts of beautiful strawberries and asked, “Where do you want me to put these?”

Now, being a faithful wife for almost 50 years, his question did allow my mind to wander.

It is indeed, a great life!

As Usual, PJ

Author of “Uncommon Sense”



Posted by Pauline Jaquish

Pauline Jaquish is the author of “Uncommon Sense.” You can reach her at Pj646@centurytel.net.

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