JOHN NORTON: Crisis over boots averted

The claws came out.

Over Bear Claw boots.

Sometimes it’s lonely being the only man left in the house.

Daughter Jess outgrew her boots from last year, so is temporarily wearing a pair of moms – like, so totally uncool!

Dad fixes things. Or tries to. So while out Christmas shopping with Jess, we went boot shopping. My only goal was to get a pair that fit, perhaps a tad big to milk two years out of the purchase. Our teenager, later I would find out, had fashion in mind. I was, and remain, rather clueless in such matters.

She picked out a pair of “Bear Claws,” black, that looked warm enough and were soft enough… they were, well, boots. It wasn’t like we were picking out what college she would attend.

Later that evening, while showing mom the boots, the drama and trauma began.

“Those aren’t waterproof,” Amy explained, reverting to a mother’s desire to keep the child’s feet DRY and warm. “They’ll have to go back.”

And the debate began. “But I like these boots.” “But you’re feet won’t stay dry.” And back and forth the battle raged, long into the night.

OK, not that long. I’m the soft one, like my father (butterman) before me. But I knew this time it was prudent to side with my sleeping partner, and agreed we’d take the boots back and get a pair that she liked AND that were waterproof.

Calm was restored in our humble abode and sleep came easy my friends. And then I awoke to the sounds of more boot discussion the next morning. And tears. Really. I’m not making this up.

Over boots.

My brother, after having three sons and then one daughter, warned me there would be days like this on the horizon.

I curse you, the makers of Bear Claw boots! You evil temptress.

Finally, on the way to school, I made up a silly Christmas song, about the dark times that we humans endure in life… the things our people have overcome. Slavery. War. Famine.. and not being able to wear Bear Claw boots. The misery is unspeakable! Jess laughed. She got it.

Crisis averted. For now.

I hope her gloves fit.

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